A Grief Observed (Collected Letters of C.S. Lewis)

One of the things I've always loved about C. S. Lewis is that there isn't the slightest hint of fakery in him. When you read his words, you read his heart. This is most true in his book, A Grief Observed. These "jottings" were made in Lewis's private journals after the death of his wife, Joy, from cancer. They weren't intended for publication when written, but Jack...more

One of the things I've always loved about C. S. Lewis is that there isn't the slightest hint of fakery in him. When you read his words, you read his heart. This is most true in his book, A Grief Observed. These "jottings" were made in Lewis's private journals after the death of his wife, Joy, from cancer. They weren't intended for publication when written, but Jack later decided that they might help someone else who might be going through a similar experience as he. This is Jack Lewis as Jacob, wrestling with God. It is not always a pleasant sight to behold, and yet we cannot take our eyes off it. He bites and scratches and yells at God at the top of his lungs, then falls back in a heaving mass of quivering flesh. But like Jacob of old, Lewis will not turn loose until God blesses him. And ultimately God does bless him - and us through him. There are too many profound passages to quote. And we don't really want to quote everything. It would be like uncovering a secret. Lewis honesty sometimes borders on discomfort, a discomfort we feel with him and, if we have experienced a similar loss, understand. The first sentence of the book sent sharp razors of memory through me. "No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear." After my father died, I remember that strange sensation myself. I didn't realize that grief manifested itself like fear. Lewis goes on to describe his mourning in terms so eloquent, and yet, when we read them, so real. In speaking about the memory of his wife showing up at particular times and in particular places, Lewis says no. "Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything." He speaks of how her face is becoming blurred in his memory, while her voice is still vivid. "The remembered voice - that can turn me at any moment to a whimpering child." Lewis eventually finds his way through the terrifying maze of grief and finds that the God he was wrestling with was holding him in His arms all the time. "God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn't." The lesson, for me, is that our ideas of how things "ought to be" are illusions of the truth that really is. God, through the natural process of death and grieving shatters our illusions and causes us to come face to face with truth. This is often extraordinarily painful. Says Lewis, "My idea of God is not a divine idea. It has to be shattered time after time. He shatters it Himself. He is the great iconoclast. Could we not almost say that this shattering is one of the marks of His presence?"   hide

One of the things I've always loved about C. S. Lewis is that there isn't the slightest hint of fakery in him. When you read his words, you read his heart. This is most true in his book, A Grief Observed. These "jottings" were made in Lewis's private journals after the death of his wife, Joy, from cancer. They weren't intended for publication when written, but Jack...more

One of the things I've always loved about C. S. Lewis is that there isn't the slightest hint of fakery in him. When you read his words, you read his heart. This is most true in his book, A Grief Observed. These "jottings" were made in Lewis's private journals after the death of his wife, Joy, from cancer. They weren't intended for publication when written, but Jack later decided that they might help someone else who might be going through a similar experience as he. This is Jack Lewis as Jacob, wrestling with God. It is not always a pleasant sight to behold, and yet we cannot take our eyes off it. He bites and scratches and yells at God at the top of his lungs, then falls back in a heaving mass of quivering flesh. But like Jacob of old, Lewis will not turn loose until God blesses him. And ultimately God does bless him - and us through him. There are too many profound passages to quote. And we don't really want to quote everything. It would be like uncovering a secret. Lewis honesty sometimes borders on discomfort, a discomfort we feel with him and, if we have experienced a similar loss, understand. The first sentence of the book sent sharp razors of memory through me. "No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear." After my father died, I remember that strange sensation myself. I didn't realize that grief manifested itself like fear. Lewis goes on to describe his mourning in terms so eloquent, and yet, when we read them, so real. In speaking about the memory of his wife showing up at particular times and in particular places, Lewis says no. "Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything." He speaks of how her face is becoming blurred in his memory, while her voice is still vivid. "The remembered voice - that can turn me at any moment to a whimpering child." Lewis eventually finds his way through the terrifying maze of grief and finds that the God he was wrestling with was holding him in His arms all the time. "God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn't." The lesson, for me, is that our ideas of how things "ought to be" are illusions of the truth that really is. God, through the natural process of death and grieving shatters our illusions and causes us to come face to face with truth. This is often extraordinarily painful. Says Lewis, "My idea of God is not a divine idea. It has to be shattered time after time. He shatters it Himself. He is the great iconoclast. Could we not almost say that this shattering is one of the marks of His presence?"   hide

Almost too personal to read. Profound insights about authentic christian suffering.

I'm hesitant to thump my drum for CS Lewis. He's touted by Gen X'ers and my fellow Gen Y'ers as basically the greatest Christian writer since Paul. There is a cult of celebrity at work with which I take issue (his writing is not as great as many seem to think nor was his theology perfect). However, my ground-to-a-nub axe aside, "A Grief Observed"...more

I'm hesitant to thump my drum for CS Lewis. He's touted by Gen X'ers and my fellow Gen Y'ers as basically the greatest Christian writer since Paul. There is a cult of celebrity at work with which I take issue (his writing is not as great as many seem to think nor was his theology perfect). However, my ground-to-a-nub axe aside, "A Grief Observed" is a profound work. For anyone who's ever suffered any kind of serious loss, CS Lewis' memoir will ring many familiar bells. When I read this a few years ago, I was in the throes of a deep grief-driven depression and more than once I would stop, close the book, and marvel, "I could've written this."--not in a self-flattering, narcissistic way, but in the sense that no matter what kind of grief you're suffering, this small, intimate diary of one man's journey through the pain will resonate; its familiarity transcends genders, generations and genres of grief (feel free to sneer at the alliteration). If you're suffering through the loss of a loved one or perhaps ANY kind of grief, CS Lewis' private struggle will show you that you are not trespassing in territory so terrible that you're alone, and that no valley is too dark to be lost in forever, nor so desolate that your spirit will starve.   hide