The most famous scene from Don Quijote---the scene that is reenacted in all the movies and expounded upon in all the term papers and discussed with great contempt in all the conversations regarding this tiresome and long-winded novel---is the legendary battle between Senior Don Quijote and the windmills (which he, in his madness, mistakes for wild giants). This classic moment in literature...
more The most famous scene from Don Quijote---the scene that is reenacted in all the movies and expounded upon in all the term papers and discussed with great contempt in all the conversations regarding this tiresome and long-winded novel---is the legendary battle between Senior Don Quijote and the windmills (which he, in his madness, mistakes for wild giants). This classic moment in literature begins on page 43 of my edition, and concludes a page and a half later. There are 746 pages overall. In all of my wanderings, I have never come across a person who can tell me anything more about Don Quijote than that he did battle with some random windmills in some nondescript field. I must therefore conclude that, due to the dry and uninteresting nature of the book, no person has ever made it past the scene with the windmills. All attempts have failed. The reader has fallen asleep, or has thrown the book into the fireplace, or has grown old and died long before being able to venture any further into the story. Until now. I am pleased to announce that I have read the book from cover to cover. Furthermore, I wholeheartedly believe that I am the first in all of human history---with the possible exception of the author, Miguel de Cervantes---to have done so. It was a life-changing experience. In the five months that I struggled with the immense volume, I became cross-eyed and my fingernails stopped growing. In addition, I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, my hair turned gray, and I am now forced to walk with a cane. Despite these and many other adverse reactions, I somehow managed to endure the book, and would recommend it to my greatest enemy, without a moment's hesitation.
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